Thursday, October 18, 2007

I'm Studying the Map

I've been studying my Clustrmap, and I noticed I have 2-18 people from Iceland visiting this site in the last few weeks or so. And I must admit I cannot understand how anyone from Iceland can even find The World According to Zed--do the people of Iceland even have electricity to run their desktop computers?

Okay, yes, they probably have electricity. But did you ever wonder how electricity gets there? Iceland is in the middle of nowhere. It's surrounded by ocean and about 1/8 of an inch above it on the map is the Arctic Circle--and ice and snow and more ice and more snow.

Could Icelandians have gotten England to run cables or wires under the ocean ALL THE WAY TO ICELAND to get electricity there--and cable TV? Wouldn't the polar bears have eaten the cables/wires? They can't ALL--all 25 Icelandians--be wireless! And if the boat that brings food breaks down, they could all (25 or so Iclandians) starve--but that's a whole other issue. Do you see, Iceland? I worry about you! We're compadres! :) Don't ever leave!

On my previous Clustrmap, which was archived in August, China was a pretty regular visitor. And now with the new map, they have disappeared. Do I need to I remind the Chinese government that I have had many Chinese objects d'art in my apartment over the years, as well as dishes, mugs, and a silk robe from that country? And I occasionally shop at the dollar store. And you know how many items from China are at the dollar store. So, where are you, China?

And Russia, don't even get me started on Russia, mostly because they poison people they don't like--and I want them to keep liking me. I LOVE RUSSIA!! I really really really do!

The best dot on the map is the one on a little tiny island to the east of Madagascar called Mauritius, another place no one lives. So if no one lives there, who's checking out my blog? The wild birds? Ship-wrecked pirates? Treasure hunters? (Hey, if you find treasure while reading my blog, international law says you must give me half. Just sayin'.)

So many countries, so little time. But if everyone in the world would just visit The World According to Zed on a regular basis, the world would be a better place ... The harmony, the love, the peace--and the homemade manicotti. Don't ever forget the manicotti. Or my killer mashed potatoes.

Thank you.
Zed

18 Comments:

Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Are you crazy? You are in danger! Those people from Iceland? They are a hit squad and you have been marked for termination.

I'm glad I don't live near you. I don't want tombstone to read "He was collateral damage".


Um...what the hell am I talking about?

Oct 18, 2007, 5:56:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

I'm not sure. But then, I don't know what I'm talking about either.

Oct 18, 2007, 10:44:00 AM  
Anonymous jane said...

take it easy on china, zed. if they take all their stuff out of dollar stores and shut down every chinese restaurant in the u.s., we could all be in serious trouble.
if i can't have wontons on a regular basis, there's no telling what will become of me.

Oct 18, 2007, 10:57:00 AM  
Blogger Skylers Dad said...

I actually have the answer for electricity in Iceland. They are the largest users of Geo-Thermal produced power in the world!

Oct 18, 2007, 11:48:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

And cable, SD? How do you explain cable TV? :)

Oct 18, 2007, 11:51:00 AM  
Blogger mixednut said...

I think Santa Claus brought them cable tv.

Oct 18, 2007, 2:41:00 PM  
Blogger BeckEye said...

Please forward any future questions and comments about Iceland to Bjork. She has the answers.

Oct 18, 2007, 3:04:00 PM  
Blogger Skylers Dad said...

Cable TV scares and mystifies me Zed! I am still wrapping foil around my rabbit ears...

Oct 18, 2007, 8:42:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Haaaa! SD, do people in Colorado even have TV to attach rabbit ears TO?

Oct 18, 2007, 9:31:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

mixednut, I didn't think of that. What with them living so close to the North Pole and all, it wouldn't be all that much of a stretch. Huh. Santa Claus.

BeckEye, I will refer my Iceland queries to Bjork from now on if she would just stop wearing that stupid swan dress. Or I can ask Darth Vader--he was once King of Iceland.

Oct 18, 2007, 10:03:00 PM  
Blogger GETkristiLOVE said...

Did you know that about 80% of all Icelandics live in the capitol city of Reykjavik?! That's because it is built on geysers and like SkyDad said, they have the natural geothermics going on, so they don't even pay for heating, which helps because it's so damn cold there!

I went there to play hockey and it was the first time I saw the Northern Lights, which were VERY cool!

Oct 19, 2007, 2:27:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

Kristi, I'm envious about your getting to see the Northern Lights. They're beautiful in pictures, can't imagine how gorgeous they are in person. The free heat thing is good, but I can't imagine volunteering to live someplace that's so cold and has no cable. :)

Oct 19, 2007, 10:15:00 AM  
Blogger Lynda said...

I actually heard that Iceland got it's name because it is so green, and the namers didn't want people immigrating there. So they said, Hey, this land next to us! Let's call it Greenland. So, Greenland is the icy one, and Iceland is the green one. Tricky, huh?

And some people may just be using an diverter, to make it seem like they are in China, when actually they are in North Dakota.

Oct 19, 2007, 1:13:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

The whole naming of Iceland? Tricky, very tricky, Lynda.

So are you saying that when I call China, I may really be talking with someone in South Dakota? Just like when I call Dell Computer, I'm really talking to someone in India?

Oct 19, 2007, 7:36:00 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

I'm coming over this weekend for your homemade manicotti. I'll bring the wine.

Oct 20, 2007, 9:26:00 AM  
Blogger Just Dave said...

Hey, we got all the modern conveniences in Colorado - vault toilets and everything.

Iceland is actually a very cool place, please pardon the pun. In June, you can play golf at midnight. You would like the tall, brawny blond guys and all the naked spas.

Oct 22, 2007, 12:22:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

Beth, I missed your message above by a few days, so come on over for homemade manicotti in January. That's when I'm making it next. Worth the plane fare or gas. Worth a trip through a snow storm. No one makes manicotti like me. :)

Tall, brawny blond guys? Good-lookin'? I'm moving to Iceland!

Oct 23, 2007, 10:50:00 AM  
Blogger Dale said...

Bjork is powering their internet and I saw a play called Mauritius a few weeks ago in NY, coincidence? I think so.

Oct 26, 2007, 11:20:00 PM  

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