Oh Really ... ?!!!!!!

See these? !!!!!!! I'm quite addicted to using them. I mean, it's not as if I'm addicted to some DRUG or ALCOHOL or something. Using exclamation points is a harmless exercise in studied enthusiasm and an expression of urgency. Or so I thought.

Last week I asked a neighbor if I could use her fax machine since mine was broken. BIG MISTAKE. The first attempt failed. So she took my cover sheet and an invoice I was sending to a textbook editor and she shuffled the pages. In shuffling them, she noticed several !! on my handwritten cover sheet: "Hi Sue, did you ever get a chance to send me the manuscript for that computer book you asked me to edit for you? I really need it soon in order to complete this job on time! Could you please send it asap? Thanks so much!! Zed"

Neighbor: I wouldn't leave those exclamation points in there.
Me: Why?
Neighbor: Because that's rude. It's as if you're yelling at her. Why would you want to yell at her?
Me: I'm not yelling at her. I know this woman for 15 years--we're friends. We write to each other like this all the time ...
Neighbor: Well, when I receive a note like this at work, with all those marks on it, I rip it up. I don't even read it. I'm not going to put up with that--I don't want to be spoken to in that manner.
Me: What manner?
Neighbor: Rudely. It's as if you're yelling at her. I'd just rip it up!

See that last exclamation point attached to the neighbor's final comment? I added that just to be obnoxious.

Here are some more, lady:

!!!!!