Friday, July 06, 2007

It's Never a Good Sign When ... (A New Zed Series)

It's never a good sign when ...

a friend invites you over for 12 noon and then comments "so let's see, I guess you should be leaving by about 1:00, which means I can have my lunch once you go."

Huh? Lunch is good. I LIKE lunch. Did I SAY I was leaving at 1:00?


Blogger Lynda said...

What kind of friend is this? LOL

Jul 6, 2007, 12:32:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

I know! Que'st-ce que c'est ca?

Truth be told, she called me back 3 minutes after I posted this and said she'd rearranged her schedule, and asked if I wanted to come to lunch. Huh, and I didn't think she read my blog!

We had grilled cheese, and I sang her unborn child--still in her belly--Itsy Bitsy Spider. Had a great time.

Jul 6, 2007, 4:23:00 PM  
Anonymous jane said...

i'd like to make it clear to zed's readers that i am not the friend who failed to offer lunch. i've only done that a few times, but mostly to my mother in law. and besides i'm not pregnant (spoken ever so gratefully thank you).

Jul 6, 2007, 4:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sure Jane.

Jul 6, 2007, 4:43:00 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

I'm going to start that: Why don't you come by around 11:15 and get the hell out by 11:45 so that I can lunch with someone else?

Jul 6, 2007, 6:13:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

I feel the warmth, Beth. :)

Jul 6, 2007, 6:29:00 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

there are some warm and fuzzy people out there.

Jul 6, 2007, 6:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes there are.

Jul 6, 2007, 7:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Washington's filled with 'em. Damn I miss that place.

Jul 6, 2007, 7:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

... you know they say "you can never go back". Well, especially when you're a convicted felon..

Jul 6, 2007, 7:39:00 PM  
Blogger Doctor Mom™ said...

That is no friend indeed!

Did she originally tell you that you were welcome over for a one-hour visit?

Jul 6, 2007, 7:48:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Teri, I'm trying to attribute this faux pas to her pregnancy. She's about to become a first-time mom and she's in her 8th month. Maybe the baby's messing with her ... brain cells? :)

Dick, I always forget you're a convicted felon. You just seem to be too nice a guy to have done in several of your wives. They must have really deserved what happened to them.

Jul 6, 2007, 8:14:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Doctor Mom, I'm blaming her fuzzy thinking on her pregnancy.

She originally invited me over with no specific time range, but in my neck of the woods, if you invite someone at noon, it's lunchtime and you offer the person something to eat. But I'm of Italian ancestry, we do that to people no matter what time of day it is. Mangia!

Jul 6, 2007, 8:19:00 PM  
Blogger SushiBoy said...

In the winter does she say, "Keep your coat on, you won't be here long"?

Jul 7, 2007, 1:23:00 AM  
Blogger Mel said...

I have friends like that too. This is why I am a loner.

Jul 7, 2007, 8:24:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

Haha, Sushiboy! You made me choke on breakfast. Funny! :)

Mel, People. Annoying, aren't they? :) But I'm not giving up yet, there's definitely still a lot of good ones out there. Like you.

Jul 7, 2007, 10:55:00 AM  
Blogger Doctor Mom™ said...

We traditionally offer food or at least coffee/tea and something sweet no matter the time of day.

I do find it odd... but I do have to share my pregnancy theory with you.

As the uterus grows, the brain shrinks proportionately. When the baby is born, the uterus shrinks because of the elasticity in the muscle. The brain is nothing but gray matter... no elasticity at all.

SO, when there are multiple pregnancies, the woman can potentially lose her mind altogether.

Here endeth Doctor Mom's lesson in pregnancy.

Jul 7, 2007, 11:37:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

So when the uterus shrinks, is the size of the brain restored?

I'm telling you, Doctor Mom, I totally agree with your theory. Pregnant women, ahem, become, ahem, slightly, er, weird.

Jul 7, 2007, 12:36:00 PM  
Blogger Doctor Mom™ said...

Unfortunately, no.

You see, the brain is gray matter alone, no elasticity, no ability to resume it's previous capacity.

Here... I've explained it all here

Life Lessons by Dr. Mom

Jul 7, 2007, 9:52:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Thanks, Doctor Mom! Don't tell Tanya Espanya (she just gave birth 3 weeks ago).

Jul 7, 2007, 10:35:00 PM  
Blogger Tanya Espanya said...

HAHAHAH! It's true, the brain does shrink. Anyway, if you come over I'll feed you something...maybe milk in a bottle?

Jul 8, 2007, 9:34:00 AM  
Blogger Dale said...

Sounds like a few people I know, okay, me.

Jul 8, 2007, 1:22:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Tanya, milk and cookies please. And don't go trying to push anything but cow's milk on me! :)

Dale, since you're a wise person who is going to write the Great Canadian Novel (or Non-Fiction Work) one of these days soon, no one's expecting you to be gracious as well. You can't be ALL things to ALL people, and we understand that. But if we're talking specifically about me, you darn well better make lunch if I stop by for a visit.

Jul 10, 2007, 1:53:00 AM  

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