Monday, July 02, 2007

Are You Deaf, Serena?

... The “acute spasm-induced strain” of the muscle was the worst pain Serena [Williams, at Wimbledon] said she could recall on court. She barely moved on Hantuchova’s next service attempt, an ace. Williams won her own serve with the aid of a clinching ace herself, but soon trailed 4-2 in the second-set tiebreaker.

As rain began to fall, father Richard Williams stood and shouted for officials to suspend play. Serena stood at the service line but did not move to serve. Officials suspended the match at 5:36 p.m. London time.

The nearly two-hour rain interruption bought crucial time. Serena received treatment on the muscle, and returned to court wearing white leg warmers.

Did I not, just last week*, advise everyone to put a bar of Ivory Soap at the foot of their bed to eliminate leg pain?



Blogger Doctor Mom™ said...

I'll need a scientific reference from a peer reviewed journal please?

Jul 3, 2007, 5:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe it. Because Zed said it. She knows.

Jul 3, 2007, 5:22:00 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

The world would be a much better place if everyone listened to Zed.

Jul 3, 2007, 6:04:00 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

You sold me! I'll buy a few bars on the way home.

Jul 3, 2007, 8:31:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

Doctor Mom, I put a new bar of Ivory at the foot of the bed last night and slept like a baby. After one year of severe, crippling pain, the moment I used the soap, the pain and cramping left. That's all the scientific reference I need.
But, go check out "leg pain leg cramps soap" in Google--there's something like 78 pages' worth and 1000+ references to the soap method. Here's just one:

And if only poor Serena had listened.

Dick, you're the best! You're a wise man for accepting the truth. I'll send you a bar of soap.

Mr. Fab! Yea! If everyone would only listen--well, I am often reminded of the Beatles song in reference to my helping abilities:
"Look at all the people, living life in peace."

Chris, you'll see it works. And then you'll send me money.


Jul 3, 2007, 10:04:00 AM  
Blogger Lynda said...

I fear the soap would only get kicked out of bed.

Jul 3, 2007, 11:00:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

Lynda, put it under the bottom sheet. It still works.

Jul 3, 2007, 11:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Peter said...

Your soap trick has done me a world of good. You are so wise.

Jul 3, 2007, 12:03:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Thank you, Peter. And you are so loving.

Jul 3, 2007, 12:08:00 PM  
Blogger Sans Pantaloons said...

It helps if one uses a 200lb bar of soap under ones Zedbed.

Jul 3, 2007, 2:40:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Haha! Thanks, Sans!

Some might think the tilt of the bed--so the feet are up and the head is down--is a problem. But no. Blood rushing to the brain makes one SMARTER. Haven't you all noticed the difference in me, pre-soap vs. post-soap?

Jul 3, 2007, 2:43:00 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

I tried the ivory soap!! I still have nerve pain and achiness but I havent had a leg or foot cramp since I started sleeping with the soap. It does do something, and I am VERY happy. Do have any advice on what I can sleep with to bring my blood sugar levels down?? :)

Jul 4, 2007, 9:08:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Mel, I am SO happy that your leg cramps have stopped by using the soap at the foot of the bed. It makes no sense whatsoever WHY it works, but I'm just happy that it does!


Jul 5, 2007, 10:48:00 AM  

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