Thursday, December 07, 2006

2006 Christmas Gifts I DON'T WANT

As Christmas is fast approaching, I feel it necessary to make it clear what Christmas presents I DON'T want this year. They include the following:

I DO NOT want this "color-changing inflatable table lamp." The ad says it "glows in 7 colors." That's nice... You might think it's attractive. I don't. Buy it for yourself, but not for me. Thankyouverymuch. Your grandmother might like it; or someone with no taste whatsoever.

The next item is called the Shockolate Vault. It is "a jar with a difference! Electric shock storage jar for chocoholics--will remove temptation for up to 24 hours!"
DON'T BUY THIS FOR ME. I WANT a chocolate addiction. I LONG for a chocolate addiction. I don't have one yet, but I'm working on getting one. If you masochistically enjoy electric shocks, buy this, buy some chocolate, and have fun!

The next item is a mistletoe headband. What a fun Christmas gift! It is described as " a white furry headband with the words 'Kiss Me' in red and mistletoe design above... One size fits most. Cheeky christmas headgear--fun stocking filler!"
It is ugly, and I don't want a green twig ascending from the top of my head. This is a big NO for me. If YOU want a green twig ascending from the top of YOUR head, go for it. I can give you the mailing address to order it. (Weirdo!)

And finally, I don't want this flashing reindeer nose. I like that they say "This is a gift, it is not a toy."
They say it is a gift as if someone will cherish it for all of their days. I am not that person. But somewhere, some person will say, "What a fine gift (not toy) that flashing reindeer nose was!! Why I remember the moment I got it." And they'll tell funny stories associated with this gift (not toy) item. And their grandchildren will fight over it long after they have left existence here on Earth. Ah, the memories... brings a tear to your eye, no? Sniff.

There are so many more gifts I DON'T want. I'll be back in few days to make it clear. :)


Blogger Sean Carter said...

hey that really very good topic to write a blog is really impotnat to make people know what you don't like as a gift. on christmas it would be really great to get girts which are according to your choice! you can cehck out m y blogfor more information.

Dec 7, 2006, 6:22:00 AM  
Blogger Teri said...

Hey thanks. I had all these presents wrapped and now I have to return them all.

Coal for you, nothing else.

Dec 7, 2006, 9:16:00 AM  
Blogger Sans Pantaloons said...

Wow, Zed got coal. I can only dream of coal.

Dec 7, 2006, 10:50:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

I like coal. Coal is good. :)

Dec 7, 2006, 10:59:00 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

Those are hideous. I won't send any of those to you. Promise.

Dec 7, 2006, 11:03:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

Ever so grateful Shelli. :)

Dec 7, 2006, 11:39:00 AM  
Blogger SushiBoy said...

Wow zed, you got spammed. I'll bet you didn't want that for Christmas either.

Dec 7, 2006, 11:55:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

Yep, they got me. haha! So far, though, only my second spammer. I hope I don't need to put word verification back up. I've sort of like not having to burden readers with it.

Dec 7, 2006, 12:15:00 PM  
Anonymous mixednut said...

I happen to agree with Sean.
I never get the girts I want.

Dec 7, 2006, 12:35:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Ha! That made me laugh out loud!

Same thing with grits--I always get some brand other than my favorite. And Lord knows how I love grits. (Not.)

Dec 7, 2006, 3:29:00 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Grinch much? LOL

Dec 7, 2006, 5:03:00 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

I kinda like the glowing inflatable lamp! I am such a dork.

Dec 7, 2006, 6:23:00 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

if you do get the reindeer nose..
can I have it?

Dec 7, 2006, 6:56:00 PM  
Blogger Teena said...

Damn! Now I have to return all the presents I got for you :(

Dec 7, 2006, 7:58:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

It's from England, Mel. Only 8.95 British pounds. Shall I forward you the URL?

Mr. Fab, I have only just begun. Yes, I grinch. :)

Jen, you may have the reindeer nose. It's quite attractive, but I already have it in both blue and yellow. I'll pass it on if I get it for sure! And I'm buying you that car you wanted on your blog--I'm THAT generous.

Teena, I'm sorry I "downed" all your present choices. And don't buy me any ABBA or Celine either! haha!

Dec 7, 2006, 11:42:00 PM  

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