Friday, February 02, 2007

A New Exciting Job for Me

There was a time, not so long ago, when weathermen and weatherwomen could predict the weather. They knew when it would rain and they knew when it would snow, almost right down to the exact minute a weather event was about to happen.

Here in the tri-state, they had fine-tuned their predictions so precisely that they could say "it will rain in Teaneck at 3:54 pm, in Englewood Cliffs at 4:01, in Manhattan on the Westside Highway at 4:07 and on the FDR/Harlem River Drive at 4:11. Then this rapidly moving storm will head out over the Bronx, then the north shore of Long Island at 4:19. Groton, Connecticut, will see the storm by 4:29." And everything happened right on schedule.

Now, precision is a thing of the past. On Wednesday night they said it would snow overnight. NOTHING. On Thursday morning they said it would snow by 4:30 p.m. NOTHING. Then they changed their minds and said it would snow and there would be black ice by 5:00 a.m. this morning. Did you see snow? Did you fall on black ice? I didn't. And it still hasn't snowed. Whatever happened to Doppler Radar to lend accuracy to predictions?

I might as well get up there in front of a camera with a pointer and a big map and make up things about the weather as I go along:


"A tornado will be coming through here, somewhere in either New York, New Jersey, or Connecticut, at about 9:15 or perhaps 11:30 and it will last however long it wants to."

23 Comments:

Blogger SushiBoy said...

Thats why they let groundhogs predict the weather. Its sheer chance anyhow, why not give a rodent a crack at it? Happy GH day!

Feb 2, 2007, 1:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

¿Por qué la gente sin embargo piensa que Elvis está vivo? Significo, adelantado, gente. ¿No hay cosas mejores a concentrarse encendido? Significo, después de todo, no nos olvidemos del individuo en el final de sus días era un drogadicto desesperado y tiraba encima de medio a sus dedos del pie antes de que él podría levantarse realmente en etapa para conseguir encendido con la demostración.

Feb 2, 2007, 3:35:00 PM  
Blogger Tanya Espanya said...

Do you want me to translate the Anonymous post for you (it's in Spanish, I'm Spanish)...

"Why do people still think Elvis is alive? Aren't there better things to be concerned about? Interestingly, let's not forget about the person who in his final days was a desperate drug addict, who would throw his toes in the middle of it before he could really pick himself up and end up lit up with the demonstration."

And did you notice that there is a link at the period?

Well, there you have it!

(weird!)

Feb 2, 2007, 5:39:00 PM  
Blogger SushiBoy said...

So was his point that Elvis could have been a weatherman? The world may never know.

Feb 2, 2007, 5:46:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

sushiboy, they would do a much better job than these bozos. But I think there's some requirement that he person giving the weather forecast wear clothes. We'd need to get him/her a suit...

Tanya, thanks for the translation. Did I even once mention Elvis? Once? :) And never once did I think he was still alive. They embalmed him and buried him for crying out loud.

Did either of you go to the link? I'm too chicken to go.

Feb 2, 2007, 6:23:00 PM  
Blogger Nobody said...

I'm great at predicting the weather. Your forcast tonight is: Dark. Widely scattered light towards morning. My apologies to George Carlin..

my blog is getting spammed today too

Feb 2, 2007, 6:53:00 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

Elvis is dead???

What is black ice, anyway? Does that just mean ice that's frozen on a dark road?

Feb 2, 2007, 7:15:00 PM  
Blogger Teena said...

Sure, why not?! You'll probably be closer to the truth!

Feb 2, 2007, 11:21:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Nobody, fascinating predictions. But the sun's out tonight, so you're off. Like the weathermen / women /people. What's with the Elvis garbage. He's been dead for, what, 20 years or more?

Shell, black ice is very, very thin so that you do not see it clearly whether it's night or day. You're walking along thinking all is right with the world and, kerplop, you've fallen. Fun.

Teena, they're clueless. Here's my weather report for tomorrow: There will be air to breathe, and if you lay out $2.25 you can probably find a semi-good slice of pizza somewhere. Not promising, though.

Feb 3, 2007, 12:41:00 AM  
Anonymous jane said...

i kept canceling plans for the last 3 days due to erroneous weather forecasts, but i will not cancel tomorrow--so you can be sure it will snow. be sure to dress warm and bring boots and a shovel when you go out east coasters.

Feb 3, 2007, 1:08:00 AM  
Blogger Dale said...

There's always a 50% chance of anything isn't there? Oh, life.

Feb 3, 2007, 8:33:00 AM  
Anonymous teri said...

they kept doing the same thing to me. Everytime I looked at the weather it predicted snow showers for the next two days and the following day I would look and it would push it to the next two days, and so on.

I don't think that particular weather pattern ever happened.

Feb 3, 2007, 2:22:00 PM  
Blogger Shelli said...

I am totally with you. I think they can predict summer weather easier than winter weather. Why? I don't know.

What the hell? A Spanish spammer?

Black ice is ice formed by car exhaust when it is so cold that the condensation freezes instantaneously on the road.

Feb 3, 2007, 7:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Tricia said...

You're totally right. I barely bother listen to weather forcasts anymore. There's only one that I find somewhat accurate. You should become a metorologist though .. I bet the pay is good. LOL

I like Shelli's explaination of black ice but that doesn't explain why it's on my porch steps, walkway and the sidewalk. LOL

Zed ... You've been TAGGED! Ahhhh!

Feb 4, 2007, 2:15:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

Teri, I'm sure it will snow, rain, and a tornado will pass through here on the day you move, but they'll say you should expect sunshine, blue skies, and 70-degree temperatures. Dopes... lol

shelli, hispanic spammers...who knew? Elvis is dead I tell you. DEAD!

Tricia, I've been tagged? I'll go check it out. Nothing like a good tag! :)

Feb 4, 2007, 11:47:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Tricia, I tried to go to your site but it appears to be temporarily shut down. What's up with that?

Feb 5, 2007, 1:43:00 AM  
Blogger Lynda said...

We are suppose to get 3-4 inches tonight. I have heard that before....

Feb 5, 2007, 9:10:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Likely story, Lynda. The fact that they said it means it most likely won't happen. And it'll be a 70-degree day tomorrow.

Feb 5, 2007, 9:16:00 PM  
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