Simon Cowell's in Trouble

It was fascinating to watch the auditions for American Idol over the last two nights to see how many people in this country think they are talented enough to (a) audition for a nationally televised dog-eat-dog "talent" contest and (b) qualify as the "greatest singing talent" in the country in 2007, especially when they don't know how to sing to begin with.

Beyond that, it's even more interesting and fascinating that so many people (10,000 in Minneapolis alone) think they are good-looking enough not to scare anyone who looks at them.

Five years ago I took singing lessons and learned one important thing. No one seems to have a clue how they sound when they sing until they hear the playback. Sometimes I'd sing a song and think it was the most beautiful rendition the world had ever heard--until I listened to it on tape and realized I wasn't hitting all the notes properly and even sounded whiney or raspy at times.

Other times I'd record something and feel embarrassed afterwards because I believed it was the most God-awful singing EVER. But on playback, it sounded pretty good. And when I say good, I mean good enough to sing in the shower or in front of people who really really loved me and would overlook such awful singing.

So to watch these auditioners become extremely ANGRY when they failed to get the golden ticket was really sad for me to watch because I knew that in their heads they had just sung the most beautiful song of all time--but we all heard it as off-key, out of tune, flat, whiney...and rather pathetic.

And though I'm no fan of Simon Cowell, I worry for him. Because someday, somewhere, some rejected AI auditioner's going to let him have it with an AK-47, and he'll have lost his life all because he told someone that they were off-key and didn't know how to sing. How could they have known he was right?