Monday, January 01, 2007

The Turnover of the New Year

Happy New Year, Everyone!

I've been working on a psych book that has taken almost every bit of my time--except for parties, cockatoo-sitting, a police visit to a neighbor, several rounds of cookie making, meeting/sharing presents with friends & family: non-stop business & social events.

I hope you all are well and enjoyed the holidays. Did you get everything you hoped for?

My favorite mailman, who sorts through my mail, throws out the junk, and generally watches to see if I'm dead or alive, fell off a ladder in September and broke his arm in 11 places. He just got over that, the pins were removed from his arm, and when I gave him his Christmas tip last week (yes, late), he said "Look at this!" and quickly pulled up his pants leg to show how just that morning he had walked into a hand truck, fallen over it, and was bandaged from ankle to knee with cloth through which blood was pouring. I screamed. I'm not good with blood.

I told him to stop working immediately and to go sit down before he fell down, but he was determined to finish his deliveries that day to the 300 families in The Fortress.

He was putting mail in all the slots as blood soaked through the bandages, paper towels, and now his pants. I kept telling him to stop and he just laughed and kept saying, "Well at least I won't have to dance at the wedding I'm going to tomorrow. I'm spared!" He delivered every last piece of mail before hobbling his way out of the building. His was a devotion to the job I had never before witnessed.
What a guy! Gotta love him!

I'll get to those other stories later. Well, except for this:

At a Christmas Eve dinner, one of the children, a five-year-old girl received two dancing (ballerina) dolls. They looked alike except for hair color and the color of their ballerina slippers, which tied up their legs. The little girl made the rounds, showing everyone her dolls, and when she got to me I said "What beautiful ballerinas! They're so pretty!"

Her face scrunched up like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. The only thing that DIDN'T compare was that her head did not spin completely around. She screamed: "They're NOT ballerinas! They're NOT! Don't call them that! Mommy, she called them ballerinas! They're NOT ballerinas!" She stomped her feet some more and scrunched her face to the nth degree.

Okay... I said, "There's no reason to get excited, little girl. What SHOULD I call them?"

This time, she screamed even louder: "They're DANCING DOLLS! DANCING DOLLS! Mommy, tell her. They're DANCING DOLLS! They're NOT ballerinas!" And with that she burst into tears, walked away from me with complete contempt for my stupidity, and fell into her mother's arms. Her mother wasn't too happy with me either. Well, I'll certainly never make that mistake again in HER presence.

Oh, and a neighbor's cockatoo (I'm watching the bird while she's out of state for a week) just bit me tonight and drew blood. In 4 places. Cute. Very cute. Not.

On New Year's Eve I was too busy working a midnight to notice that the clock had struck 12:00. First time I checked, it was already 12:15. Guess I didn't miss too much. Anything big happen??

Okay, I'll be back. And that's a warning. :)

14 Comments:

Blogger Mel said...

hahaha!! KIds just LOVE you huh?

They're dancing dolls!! hahaha!!

Thats ok cuz this is OUR year gal! Ballerina dolls for everyone!

Jan 2, 2007, 5:36:00 AM  
Blogger Scarlet said...

**BONK!!
Its not hitting a brat with a frying pan, its badly juggling a kitchen item.

You should've broken HER arm in 11 places.

Jan 2, 2007, 6:38:00 AM  
Blogger Tanya Espanya said...

Dance this, stupid five year old overreacter!

Jan 2, 2007, 11:03:00 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

Happy New Year, Zed! Who knew the term ballerina could be tantrum-inducing!?

Jan 2, 2007, 1:07:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Ballerina---dancer, who cares which one's right? (Well obviously the child did...) When I was a childen a few years ago :) my mother would have taken me aside and told me in no uncertain terms that it didn't matter and I owed the "lady" an apology.

Different method, different generation. Her mother looked at me a bit in horror and seemed to wonder why I annoyed her child. Ha! I like Scarlet's method ... BONK!!!

Mel, we're going to do it all in OUR year. Others can join us, but I don't think they'll match us. How can they? We're fab!

Tanya, when you're little baby arrives, promise me you'll train her in how to handle adults with grace and aplomb.

Chris, exactly...who knew??? (Hey, glad you're back from the big city!)

Jan 2, 2007, 2:26:00 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

They're DANCING DOLLS!!!!!
BWahahhaahahaha

I hope you don't have
to see these people often..

Jan 2, 2007, 2:43:00 PM  
Blogger Tanya Espanya said...

Zed are you happy now that you scarred this child for life?! hah!

Yes, I hope to be much more relaxed and unpsychotic when my perfectly well adjusted kid starts interacting with larger humans...

Oh, who am I kidding? This is going to be such a disaster! :)

Jan 2, 2007, 3:09:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Jen, hahahaha!!! And don't you even TRY to call them ballerinas!

Tanya, you'll be a GREAT mom--that's my guess. If not, turn the kid over to me for a couple of weeks--I'll straighten him or her out. :)

Jan 2, 2007, 3:16:00 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Zed.... I'm not sure I can be your friend anymore. How could you not have known they were dancing dolls??? For crying out loud?

I find it incredibly...something... that her mother was pissed at you, too. Just, wow.

By the way, at midnight on new years eve that whole Y2K thing finally happened.

Jan 2, 2007, 5:17:00 PM  
Blogger Tanya Espanya said...

Zed, thank you for believing me, yes, I'm going to be a great mum, and yes, I accept all offers of babysitting! :)

Jan 2, 2007, 5:52:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Amy,
I regret that I foolishly believed that dancing dolls and ballerinas were the same. My parents and educators failed me somewhere along the way, omitting this vital piece of information. I am ashamed. (Hanging head low.)

I missed Y2K?? Does this mean I won't be able to access my bank accounts? Oh my.

Tanya, I'll gladly babysit. You can send the child to me by way of Air Canada or train. :)

Jan 2, 2007, 7:34:00 PM  
Blogger Dale said...

This post features a lot of numbers. I don't need that kind of crunching when I enter the world according to Zed. Or do I?

Careful Zed, I know Tanya, she'll send you that rotten kid and the next thing you know, all 58 of you will be insane.

Jan 2, 2007, 10:00:00 PM  
Blogger Tanya Espanya said...

Zed, pay no attention to anything Dale says. He's the rotten one. My husband and I will come down with the baby in September!

Jan 2, 2007, 10:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do you know this child? I would call them a brat but if they're a niece then I won't. I guess I'm old fashioned I WOULD and DO take my children aside and tell them to apologize to the "lady" when they behave in such a way.
Superwoman

Jan 3, 2007, 12:51:00 PM  

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