Sunday, September 03, 2006

Is Anybody Home?

I live in this huge high-rise monstrosity I like to call The Fortress and I think I'm in here alone this weekend.

I need to get a job out by Tuesday, and as I sat working here yesterday I suddenly realized I was in total silence. So I went out in the hallway and looked up and down the corridors. No one. I went to the trash room. Totally clean and empty. Nothing. I went to the workout room--it was dark. The lobby is empty, the parking garage is empty, and I don't hear a sound--not one TV; not a bit of canned laughter. I don't even smell the odor of other people's cooking. (By the way, mine is an "aroma"--theirs is an "odor.") I think the place is empty. Spooky.
I could rollerskate naked in the hallway with foam pink rollers in my hair, and no one would care. I could sing "Glory, Glory Hallellujah" offkey from the terrace as I wear my cat pajamas with the heels, and no one would care (except maybe Julia W. Howe).

Julia W. Howe, author of Battle Hymn of the Republic(Glory, Glory Hallellujah!)

I could put on every single light in my apartment (including the microwave oven light) so the place glowed like a giant star in the sky, and no one would care! But tell me the truth. There are people still out there right? Someone's still around? I'm not alone on the planet, am I? Has the Rapture come and I've been left behind? Hello? Hello? Anyone?

Tap if you can hear me.


Blogger Doctor Mom said...

It's like Left Behind... when the apocolypse is coming and all the good people mysteriously disappear to leave the others on earth to fight the battles ahead.

Oops...that would mean you're not a good people Fancy Zed....and that would mean I'm not a good people because I'm sitting here writing this.

Ok-- it's not like Left Behind at all.

Sep 4, 2006, 8:24:00 AM  
Blogger Mel said...

ACK! NO I am not left behind!

I am here, wondering where everyone is too. Yesterday they were all at the grocery store though. Every person on earth. OK well, it seemed like it anyway.

Sep 4, 2006, 8:49:00 AM  
Blogger Teri said...

that would TOTALLY freak me out. especially when it's a lot of people "missing".

We're still here but unfortunately we don't live where you live so we can't come by to visit and make it better.

I think you should try one of your suggestions and see what happens.

Sep 4, 2006, 9:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Zed said...

Doctor Mom, I'm a good people. :) So if I've missed the Rapture I'm going to be very very very upset.

Sep 4, 2006, 9:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Zed said...

Oh, they're at the grocery store!! Thanks, Mel.

Did you see my cousin Rocky there? Tall, dark, killer-like looking?

Sep 4, 2006, 9:48:00 AM  
Anonymous Zed said...

Teri, I may skate naked in the hallways AND turn on all of the lights, just to be rebellious. I'm crazy that way.

Glad you're still here, sis.

Sep 4, 2006, 9:52:00 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Oh please. When the rapture comes, you can pretty much forget about coming with the rest of us.

Sounds like more of a Twilight Zone episode to me.

Or perhaps you have been mixing medications again?

Sep 4, 2006, 9:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Zed said...

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Mr. Fab is being mean to me!

Oh, by the way, I DID see Rod Serling in the lobby this morning.

Sep 4, 2006, 10:06:00 AM  
Anonymous jane said...

you are right. there's no one home. :)

go check out mel's grocery store. you'll be sure to see someone there.

Sep 4, 2006, 11:00:00 AM  

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