Monday, August 28, 2006

All Warm Things Are Not Equal

When it's 84 degrees in Florida, it's a "warm" 84 degrees, not like the cold 84 degrees we have here in the northeast.
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Mom: It's freezing in here [in my apartment].
Me: Mom, it's 84 degrees--look at the outdoor thermometer.
Mom: But my nose. Feel my nose; it's ice cold.
Me, after feeling her nose: It's fine. It's not cold at all.
Mom: Well, to me it's cold. It's ice cold in here.
Me: No it's not. Look at me--I'm sweating! I'm dying of the heat! That's how warm it is--and you won't let me put on the central air.
Mom: How can you put on the air when it's so cold?
Me: Didn't you leave winter clothes in the drawer in the office a while back? Let's find them and you can put them on.
Mom: I'm not going to wear winter clothes in summer.
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I go get the space heater.
Me, re-entering room: Okay, let me plug this in.
Mom: What is it?
Me: A space heater.
Mom: You can't use that! It's summer!! That's ridiculous. Take it out of here!
Me: But YOU'RE cold. It doesn't matter what season it is.
Mom: I don't want it. Unplug it. I don't want it. And I'm not going to use it.
[Next morning, she's sneezing at breakfast.]
Mom: I think I'm getting a cold from it being so icy in here.
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My 87-year-old mother flies home on Wednesday morning after a three-week visit. She will be returning to Florida, where the temperature is 84 degrees, but a warm 84 degrees.

13 Comments:

Blogger Teri said...

My sympathy.

It cracks me up that she keeps saying "it's summer" but yet she's complaining that she's cold and won't allow you to plug in the heater.

Again, crazy parents, gotta love em.

Aug 28, 2006, 10:13:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Yep, you just have to say nothing and hope the next 38 hours 10 minutes and 52 seconds before her plane leaves will go smoothly and without incident. :)

Aug 29, 2006, 12:10:00 AM  
Anonymous jane said...

my mother does this sort of thing to me and all i can do is go outside to the furthest corner of our property and scream. i always feel so much better once i've done that. :)

Aug 29, 2006, 12:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Parents! They can (literally) make you nuts.

Aug 29, 2006, 1:00:00 AM  
Blogger Doctor Mom said...

That is so stinking funny!!

If that's not one of my geriatric patients... verbatim!!

I'm sorry Fancy Zed... but God Bless you!

I couldn't do it...

Aug 29, 2006, 8:58:00 AM  
Blogger Nobody said...

Zed, your mother just called and wanted me to let you know she is staying an extra week. I'm certain that you will be overjoyed to hear this news, as well as surprised that I know your mother.

Aug 29, 2006, 9:58:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

nobody, you know my mother??? Did you want her to stay with you for the next week?

Aug 29, 2006, 10:20:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

Thanks for the blessing, Doctor Mom. They're pips, aren't they? :)

Aug 29, 2006, 10:22:00 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

your blog is freezing

Aug 29, 2006, 12:03:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

haHA! Yes, it is quite chilly here, isn't it?

Aug 29, 2006, 12:39:00 PM  
Blogger Doctor Mom said...

Is that what it is Jen??

I just thought it was someone who turned on the air conditioner in our home... after all, it's only 84 degrees outside...What are they thinking?

Aug 29, 2006, 6:39:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Turn that air conditioner off! Feel my nose! It's like ice!

Aug 29, 2006, 6:48:00 PM  
Blogger Lynda said...

I could have sworn I commented on this when you published it.

Aug 31, 2006, 1:31:00 PM  

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