Saturday, August 12, 2006

What'd I Ever Do to You, France and Spain?

Okay, I admit I'm upset with ClustrMaps, the little red-dotted image of a world map that appears in the sidebar. I've only had this new tool on my site for one week, but I'm driven to go look at it every day. No, it's not about how many visitors I've had. No. It's about my obsession with the dots. (Yes, it's true, the lights are on at my house but nobody's home.)

If you click on the ClustrMaps image in the sidebar, you'll see a new screen with more and bigger dots. Right above that map on that page is a clickable link to make "smaller dots". If you click on it, you see lot of dots in the US and Europe--and hey, welcome to visitors in Australia, New Zealand, India, Indonesia, and that country I don't recognize and have to go look up on a real map. It may be China or Russia, but I'm not sure (if you live east of Poland, I'm lost).

Now let me ask you a question. Do you see a dot on France? Or Spain? Not one. What, I'm not good enough for those countries?

No one from either country has even stopped here ONCE. Goodness, I lived in France. Did I scare them all away? Was I a bad resident? Look at this: "Bon jour! Comment ca va?" See? And Spain--I had 3 years of Spanish in high school for goodness' sake!

So ClustrMaps started this obsession, and I think it is now my mission to commission French and Spanish (from Spain) citizens to this blog. And they'd better start stopping by. Or they're in big trouble. I wouldn't want to be in their shoes right now.


Blogger Teri said...

Zed, you know they hate Americans, right? that's why they don't visit, sorry!

Aug 12, 2006, 1:59:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...


Anyway, it's not a big deal. What you say makes sense, Teri, and the map doesn't lie ...

I lived in the south of France 15 years ago and while having dinner alone in a restaurant in Lyon I spoke English to the waiter and a guy two tables down pulled a knife. He never used it but he waved it through the air in a threatening manner in my direction. Nice.

Okay, as I said, it all makes sense now.

Aug 12, 2006, 2:20:00 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

i think you need to post about France. It is cool as hell that you lived there. Paris is overrated!

Aug 12, 2006, 2:30:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Teri, I promise I will. It was a wonderful time...

Thanks for the encouragement.

Aug 12, 2006, 2:38:00 PM  
Blogger Lynda said...

I think they don't have internet in France or Spain.

Don't take it personal.

Aug 13, 2006, 4:27:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

They don't??? How can that be?? Even China has the Internet!

Aug 13, 2006, 9:05:00 PM  
Blogger sans pantaloons said...

The French and Spanish obviously don't have any taste.
The wee red dot on the north of Britain should be me.
(And all the other Scots with taste).

Aug 31, 2006, 5:36:00 PM  

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