Sunday, October 01, 2006

Today's Ponderance

What can this woman be thinking?

How does she blow-dry her hair or wash it? How does she eat? How does she sleep? If one nail breaks, does she cut them all back and start again? Can she use her nails to scratch herself or others? How does she take care of business in the bathroom; you know, the cleaning up part? Does she ever trim her nails? Or polish them? How does she hug her husband or kids? Are her pets afraid of her? Do little children run screaming from her?

So many questions, so little time . . .


Anonymous ananke said...

How does she get dressed? Does she have someone do that for her? More to the point, who the HELL would actually want to grow their nails that long? That's just freaking bizarre. ;-)

Oct 1, 2006, 2:39:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Exactly! How does she button buttons, or zip things up? How does she put tight shoes on? :)

So many questions...

Oct 1, 2006, 2:50:00 PM  
Anonymous jane said...

are you making fun of my nails, zed? just tell me the truth. hahahaaa!

Oct 1, 2006, 2:52:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Compared to this woman, your nail are short stubs--you really need to grow them. lol

So many questions: How does she get bread out of the bag? Or reach in the back of the fridge for the mayo? How does she put on eyeliner?

Oct 1, 2006, 2:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Marzi said...

I want to ask questions too! How does she pick pimples? lol How does she pull up the emergency brake on hills? How does she twirl a baton? How does she put on mascara?
Will there be no end to the questions? lol

Oct 1, 2006, 4:01:00 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

she scares me. I've asked all those questions myself and I think she should answer them for us.

Oct 1, 2006, 4:19:00 PM  
Blogger Lynda said...

EWW! That picture creeps me out. Are you sure she has a husband and kids?

Oct 1, 2006, 4:46:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Teri, let's track her down and DEMAND that she answer our questions. I'd ask her to write us but she probably can't what with those nails...

I was just assuming that Lynda, but you know what they say about assuming. My guess is, nails like that freak men out.

Oct 1, 2006, 5:19:00 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

I can leave a comment!

oh wait
I forgot what I was going to say


Oct 1, 2006, 7:26:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Jen, I'm sure whatever it was, we will all suffer for not having read it, Sensei...

:) Jen, you're the best! Thanks for letting me know of the Beta Blogger blackout.

Oct 1, 2006, 7:29:00 PM  
Blogger Nobody said...

Nasty. Maybe she is Freddy Krueger's wife.

Oct 1, 2006, 9:58:00 PM  
Anonymous mixednut said...

Well I guess she doesn't type much.
That just freaks me out.
Get those things away from meee... ugh! *shudder*

Oct 1, 2006, 10:19:00 PM  
Blogger lilfunky1 said...

I saw her on TV before. She *does* polish them, it's always the same gold polish, and she uses a paint brush to apply it.

Most thing she does like picking things up etc, she uses her thumb but the side of it... it's hard to explain in words. Sort of clamps it between her thumb and the side of her hand using the side of her thumb away from the nail.

If i recall correctly, she started growing them for the attention, and comes from a large family and was often overlooked as a child.

Oct 1, 2006, 11:11:00 PM  
Blogger Teresa said...

Oh sure you had to post that picture, yuck. All she has to do to hug anyone is hook them & drag them close with those claw hooks.
Seriously I think there must have been another record for her to do. That is just sick & I wonder if it is painful.

Oct 1, 2006, 11:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Zed said...

lilfunky1, if you told me any more, I was going to be ill. Thanks for stopping. Haha!

I was ignored as a child as well, but I just blog. You know what I mean? :)

Thanks for stopping by!

Oct 1, 2006, 11:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Zed said...

I'm sorry, I couldn't stop myself, Teresa. She was screaming, "I need attention! Put my picture on your blog."

Hey, are you the Teresa I know personally? I'm thinking yes. If not, hi and welcome to my blog, Teresa. Well the other Teresa is welcome too.

Oh for heaven's sake, you both know what I'm trying to say. Stop putting pressure on me! haha!

Oct 1, 2006, 11:24:00 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

Great. Now I am creeped out. its too early to be creeped out. Plus its a monday!!!!!! pfftt.

Oct 2, 2006, 5:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Mattie said...

It's just gross. I can't even think of how gross because it's grossing me out.

Oct 2, 2006, 7:30:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

Why don't we get a class-action suit together and SUE her for grossing everyone out?
And then you can turn around and sue me for posting her image and grossing you out ...
Oh wait a minute, that's not a good idea. Let's embrace her uniqueness--embrace it!! :)

Oct 2, 2006, 10:32:00 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

That seriously, seriously, seriously gives me the creeps.

Oct 2, 2006, 11:30:00 AM  
Blogger Teri said...

and if you really want to be grossed out Ms. Altman posted this lovely video for all to see.

don't say I didn't warn you.

Oct 2, 2006, 12:29:00 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

sis, your sidebar is down at the bottom of your page.

Oct 2, 2006, 2:32:00 PM  
Blogger Teresa said...

Hi Zed, yes it is I, the one the only orginal Teresa that you know personally.
I have to stop by now & again just to see what you are up to on this blog.
What do I find a strange woman with even stranger nails.
Did I mention I really like your blog???

Oct 2, 2006, 3:08:00 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

this Teresa spells her name like mine, WELCOME TERESA. You go by Teresa and I'll go by Teri and we won't get confused! : )

Oct 2, 2006, 3:14:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Teresa!! I was wondering where you had gone! I hope you're well. I have to email you one of these days.

Thanks about the blog. I have such a great time here...

Welcome back. Email coming maybe later.


P.S. Re the woman with long nails. "Why do I find a strange woman with even stranger nails?" Because I decided to let my nails grow at bit. She's my inspiration. haha!

Oct 2, 2006, 3:15:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Teri, Teresa is a long-time friend from another site. Heart of gold--just like you. And yes, I mean you. :)

She went missing for about 2 months (she was posting as Mollie for a while back in early August), so I'm thrilled to see her again. Good person, good heart.

Oct 2, 2006, 3:19:00 PM  
Blogger Teresa said...

it wouldn't take much to confuse me, lol. It is always good to meet another Teresa, especially one that spells her name the same way.

Zed, now I have much to live up to :)
Thank you much.
You are the same you know, heart of gold.
I am glad to be back, life has been busy here.
Will have to email you about it.

Oct 2, 2006, 4:05:00 PM  
Blogger SushiBoy said...

Icky! I'm afraid I'll have nightmares from that picture.

Oct 2, 2006, 5:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Zed said...

Email away!

Oct 2, 2006, 5:42:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

She's coming for you, Sushiboy! Run! Run away!

Oct 2, 2006, 5:45:00 PM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

What does she do when - you know - for that time of the month? I'm just saying - that could get a little tricky.

Oct 2, 2006, 9:13:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Exactly, fantastagirl, what a mess!

Or even just doing her daily "business," if you get my drift. Especially "back there." Yuck, yuck, yuck! So sorry to have brought that up!

Oct 3, 2006, 5:58:00 PM  

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