Monday, October 09, 2006

The Swimming Pool Restroom

A post from my Windows Live Spaces blog, from August 1, before I moved to Blogger... The day was hot, 100 degrees, and I was very cranky. Every time I read this it cracks me up.

The Swimming Pool Restroom

The temperature is going to be 100 today and will rise to 101+ tomorrow. Oh, yeah, this is going to be "fun."

I'm filling the guest bathtub with cold water and leaving it there as my swimming pool. While we have a large pool right here at The Fortress--my humongo apartment building--I have this thing about multiple-user pools: I don't want to be in them.

Human elimination in swimming pools was always something I blamed on children with lazy parents who hadn't passed down instructions that it is uncouth to eliminate in the water rather than use the restroom. But now I realize that grown-ups are often just as guilty of this practice.

I have swum through too many warm-water areas in pools to be unaware of this problem.

Some people have told me, "That doesn't bother me. They use chlorine in the pool"--as if this makes it better. It doesn't. They can use dump trucks' worth of chlorine in the pool as far as I'm concerned. If I swallow water while swimming, I'm swallowing water, pee, and chlorine.

I don't want to swim in other people's urine, I'm funny that way. My bathtub's going to serve as my swimming pool. Oh sure, Frankie & Johnny may occasionally drink from it, but they don't swim in it. And even if they DID swim in it, they are smart enough to know not to eliminate in the same place as one swims, once again proving that cats are highly intelligent and far more respectful of others than humans.

I'm off to fill my chlorine-free, pee-free pool! Stay cool!

P.S. See those 3 people in the pool below (click on the image to enlarge it)? Two of those people are peeing in the pool right this second!


Anonymous jane said...

i do NOT pee in pools thank you! lol

Oct 9, 2006, 11:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bwaahaha! Warm water areas ... Ah, we've walked through a few of those in our lives ...

Oct 9, 2006, 11:33:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

Jane, come on, own up to it. You KNOW you do! :)

Oct 9, 2006, 11:40:00 AM  
Blogger zuzula said...

god, i hate that. a lifeguard once cleared the pool i swim in because he spotted what he called an 'unpleasantary' floating in the water. gross.

Oct 9, 2006, 1:13:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

"An unpleasantry!" Haha! I think I'm in love with that lifeguard ...
And yes, that's totally gross. Yeck.

Welcome to my blog zuzula! :)

Oct 9, 2006, 1:19:00 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

I'm not admitting anything until I talk to my lawyer....I'll get back to ya

Oct 9, 2006, 2:01:00 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

I am with you, girlfriend! I don't venture in ANY pools, whether they belong to family, friends, or hotel chains.

Every year the Gainesville Sun does a study, and every year at least half the hotel and apartment pools fail inspection.

NO WAY I am getting in that bacteria frappe.

Oct 9, 2006, 5:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Zed said...

Haahaha Teri! You kill me! Please don't ask me to swim in your pool. :)

Mr. Fab, I know a smart guy when I read his blog! :) Smart man! Yeah, like I really want to swim in other people's waste/excrement ...
When I visit my mom in Florida, you can't get me to put a toe in the community pool. Those older folks can't make it out of the pool in time! (not to generalize or anything). But don't tell them I said that, or they'll hit me with their sun umbrellas.

Oct 9, 2006, 6:24:00 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

my attorney has advised me to plead the fifth.

hey, I can't be held accountable for what I did as a kid.


Oct 9, 2006, 7:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Mattie said...

Finally, I found someone who has the same "pee in the pool" phobia I have.

Maybe it's the other way around, maybe for those folks who DO go in have a "I can't be in a pool unless someone pees in it" phobia.

My phobia came from when I was 4 and I watched my brother lose his diaper in the pool. I've not dipped a toe in since.

Oct 9, 2006, 8:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Zed said...

You wrote, "Finally, I found someone who has the same 'pee in the pool' phobia I have."

Oh, there are many of us Mattie. Many, many, many. I may start a society of Pool Pee Prohibitionists. :)

Hey, glad to see you on my blog. Come by again! You're always welcome.

Oct 9, 2006, 8:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My sister in law chose to use salt water instead of chlorine against aquabot prescriptions. She says this is less harsh on the skin & hair and that is why our skin is soft when we are done swimming. But everytime my son comes home from swimming he feels sick to his stomach & his eyes burn when he closes them, he says he does not drink the water and he is 9 years old. Does anyone know of any side affects from salt water.

Sep 18, 2007, 2:53:00 AM  

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