Sunday, August 19, 2007

All Warm Things Are Not Equal--Recap

When it's 84 degrees in Florida, it's a "warm" 84 degrees, not like the cold 84 degrees we have here in the northeast.
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Mom: It's freezing in here [in my apartment].
Me: Mom, it's 84 degrees--look at the outdoor thermometer.
Mom: But my nose. Feel my nose; it's ice cold.
Me, after feeling her nose: It's fine. It's not cold at all.
Mom: Well, to me it's cold. It's ice cold in here.
Me: No it's not. Look at me--I'm sweating! I'm dying of the heat! That's how warm it is--and you won't let me put on the central air.
Mom: How can you put on the air when it's so cold?
Me: Didn't you leave winter clothes in the drawer in the office a while back? Let's find them and you can put them on.
Mom: I'm not going to wear winter clothes in summer.
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I go get the space heater.

Me, re-entering room: Okay, let me plug this in.
Mom: What is it?
Me: A space heater.
Mom: You can't use that! It's summer!! That's ridiculous. Take it out of here!
Me: But YOU'RE cold. It doesn't matter what season it is.
Mom: I don't want it. Unplug it. I don't want it. And I'm not going to use it.
[Next morning, she's sneezing at breakfast.]
Mom: I think I'm getting a cold from it being so icy in here.
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My 87-year-old mother flies home on Wednesday morning after a three-week visit. She will be returning to Florida, where the temperature is 84 degrees, but a warm 84 degrees.

I cracked up when I read this in the August 2006 archives, because today she wore a sweatshirt and sweater with long sweatpants and wool socks and complained how she never expected it to be so bitter cold in the Tri-State in August. We had a high of 72 today. A wintery 72.

16 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious.
Maybe you should just show her this stuff. She might get a kick

Aug 20, 2007, 6:49:00 AM  
Blogger Sans Pantaloons said...

Brrrrr... I'm having to rub the frost off my screen just to read this!

Aug 20, 2007, 10:48:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

I don't know ... maybe, GT. She has a pretty good sense of humor. Or she may never let me win another game of rummy again. She LOVES cards and is an awesome rummy player. (She's been letting me win this week.) If she chooses, my winning days are OVER.

Sans, here's a jacket and some wool socks. It's 72 and freezing here today.

Aug 20, 2007, 4:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm freezing! would u please put on the heat already???? first, no matching towels, now this. you're inhumane i tell you. :)

Aug 20, 2007, 4:37:00 PM  
Blogger Lynda said...

Well, you know how wintery the North can be.

Aug 20, 2007, 5:31:00 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

Well sis, it's Monday and a blistery 63 degrees and rainy. what's your mom think of the weather today?

Aug 20, 2007, 6:56:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Lynda, she's blaming me for the cold weather. I didn't know I was that powerful. I feel awesome!

Teri, she's currently wearing wool socks, leggings, long pants, and a tee-shirt under a sweatshirt. And when she walks she's hugging herself to keep warm. It's not fun here.

Aug 20, 2007, 7:34:00 PM  
Blogger chelene said...

I wore a shawl today. In August. I feel so confused.

Aug 20, 2007, 10:28:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

It's very strange, Chelene. I'm expecting to see my breath in tomorrow's cold.

Aug 21, 2007, 12:13:00 AM  
Blogger tmollie said...

Zed, how can you keep it so cold at your place, lol.

Aug 21, 2007, 12:54:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Cold apartment, warm heart, TMollie. :)

Aug 21, 2007, 1:29:00 PM  
Blogger Superwoman said...

Hee Hee Hee! I love your mom stories! They bring a smile to my face!

Aug 21, 2007, 5:15:00 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

Thanks, Superwoman! Me too! She does indeed crack me up.

Aug 21, 2007, 7:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just think that's so cute. I can practically see you rolling your eyes...LOL!

Aug 22, 2007, 1:21:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

Amy, They're rolling hourly in the last 8 days and will continue doing so until the 28th. :)

Aug 22, 2007, 11:07:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please write anything else!

Oct 31, 2007, 2:56:00 PM  

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