Friday, August 04, 2006

The Swimming Pool Restroom

The temperature is going to 100 today and will rise to 101+ tomorrow. Oh, yeah, this is going to be "fun."

I'm filling the guest bathtub with cold water and leaving it there as my swimming pool. While we have a large pool right here at The Fortress--my humongo apartment building--I have this thing about multiple-user pools: I don't want to be in them.

Human elimination in swimming pools was always something I blamed on children with lazy parents who hadn't passed down instructions that it is uncouth to eliminate in the water rather than use the restroom. But now I realize that grown-ups are often just as guilty of this practice. I have swum through too many warm-water areas in pools to be unaware of this problem.

Some people have told me, "That doesn't bother me. They use chlorine in the pool"--as if this makes it better. It doesn't. They can use dump trucks' worth of chlorine in the pool as far as I'm concerned. If I swallow water while swimming, I'm swallowing water, pee, and chlorine.

I don't want to swim in other people's urine, I'm funny that way. My bathtub's going to serve as my swimming pool. Oh sure, Frankie & Johnny may occasionally drink from it, but they don't swim. And even if they DID swim, they are smart enough to know not to eliminate in the same place as one swims, once again proving that cats are highly intelligent and far more respectful of others than humans.

I'm off to fill my chlorine-free, pee-free pool! Stay cool!

P.S. See those 3 people in the pool on the left? Those people are all peeing in the pool! :)


Anonymous dee said...

ammonia and chlorine don't mix.

Aug 9, 2006, 9:38:00 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

Exactly. The ocean's not great either, what with all the junk in there: dead bodies (human and fish); syringes; urine; spilled oil; etc. etc.

The only safe place to swim anymore is in your bathtub. And that may not be great anymore either. Didn't they find a dead scientist's body in a tank at the water company in Jersey last year?

Dirty may not necessarily be a BAD thing anymore... :)

Aug 9, 2006, 2:20:00 PM  

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